Me, Myself, and Asskicker

As an aside in one of the early topics I did for this blog, I mentioned how there was usually "one best class" for me in any RPG that I have played.  There was usually one setup that suited my play-style, and thanks to Gamefly I can now add the Crusader from Oblivion to the list of "one best classes" that I have played.  How does this work in a non-class-based RPG like, for example, Fallout 3.

Well, I had a very interesting experience with Fallout 3, and it's about time that I got around to sharing it.  For the first run, I made a character named after me, and shaped him after my own personality.  Brennan was the amiable vault chaplain who was skilled in science and first aid.  This made hacking my way out of the vault a cinch, but it also meant that I got spanked royally by every mutated abomination I encountered out in the wasteland.  Fitting, because it's probably how I would really do in an environment filled with armed-to-the-teeth bandits and mole rats the size of St. Bernards gnawing at my legs.  Only my elevated capacity to put myself back together kept me from constant death.

I tried again, this time going a totally different route with a character called Asskicker.  Asskicker was a morally-bankrupt sociopath struggling to keep a job as a fry cook in the vault kitchen.  He solved all his problems as a child by shooting BB's at them and/or beating them up, even if it meant putting tiny pieces of metal in his own father.  He had trouble figuring out how to get out of the vault, but once he was out in the wasteland, he made everyone his bitch.  He rigged the nuke at Megaton, and watched all its citizens die with a look of sadistic glee.  He went on to amass all the weapons and all the caps in all the world, and the only thing that ever gave him trouble was that damn Megaton security robot.

I know now why there are so many fantasy RPGs with magic systems and all of that: to give the nice, smart people a fighting chance in a world where super-powered monstrosities are plotting your death.  If Brennan were in a fantasy RPG, he could be a shaman or a druid and lay down some ass-kickings with thunderbolts summoned out of thin air, or shape-shift into a tiger and make dinner out of his enemies.  In Fallout, however, he's left to run like a bitch and hide from a pissed-off Super Mutant and stitch together what's left of his legs while praying that he's not dragged out and gang-raped by bandits.

Asskicker can live up to his namesake in both worlds, though.  Whether it's the Dark Lord of Something-something-something or just the friendly neighborhood mole rat, he'll kick their asses for the sake of having an ass to kick.  As the "one best class" goes, Asskicker would definitely be it for Fallout 3.  Even though he doesn't act the way I do in real life, he acts the way I do in games.  So I'll keep on rolling with Asskicker in the Capital Wasteland, and I might even visit Brennan while I'm there, though all that's left of him now is a bloodstain on the side of Tenpenny Tower.